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puss_nd_bootsTitle: The Camera Eye: Heaven, Hell and Earth – Phase 1
Chapter: Thirty-second in The Camera Eye series. Links to previous installments can be found here
Author: Boots
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Porn industry AU, drama, smut, romance
Warnings: Male/male sex, polyamory
Pairing: MiA (Mejibray) x Subaru (Royz), Uruha (GazettE) x MiA
Disclaimer: GazettE belongs to PS Company, Mejibray belongs to White Side Group, Royz belongs to BP Records, I own the story only.
Summary: After much anticipation, PSC Productions and Eros Films’ biggest co-production yet is about to go before the cameras, and Subaru and MiA are about to experience their first time “going all the way” together. But before that happens, there’s a confession about his past MiA needs to make.
Notes:: First in a miniseries-within-a-series dealing with the making of Datenshi Blue 2: Heaven, Hell and Earth. All characters here are based on J-rockers, but I have no knowledge of their actual lives and motivations, nor do I pretend to know. (Please see additional notes at the end of the fic)
After what seemed like an eternity, what was still being talked about as Project Top Secret – but what those involved now knew was actually Datenshi Blue 2: Heaven, Hell and Earth – was about to go before the cameras.
Uruha had his final briefing with his principal cast – and as he looked around the room, he had to admit he had a good group. At one end of his office sat the stars of the original film – Yo-ka, Yuuki and Byou. At the other were the two newcomers who were going to bring added interest to the project – Subaru and MiA.
“All right,” Uruha said. “I trust you’ve all read the script at this point, and started working on your lines?”
Subaru nodded enthusiastically. “Yo-ka and I were running lines before we got here!” he said.
“I swear he’s got the whole script memorized,” Yo-ka said. “Not just his part – everyone’s.” He turned to Subaru. “How do you learn it all so fast?”
Subaru shrugged. “It just comes natural, I guess.”
“I’d like to have your natural talent,” Yuuki said. “Some days I swear I’m going to write the script on my co-stars’ bodies.”
“Everyone will know you’re cheating,” said Yo-ka.
“I’ll pass them off as tattoos,” Yuuki replied.
“I’ll just provide a basic overview of the storyline as a review,” Uruha said. “Yo-ka, your character is now living on earth as a human with Masahito – Byou’s character. You’re running a boutique together, you’re very happy. And then, Subaru, your character, Georgiel, shows up and tells him he’s being reinstated as an angel. Signs of the apocalypse are starting to happen on Earth and the angels are afraid that Lucifer, King of the Devils, and his armies are about to destroy the human race.”
“And I’m being reinstated because I’m the only person who understands all three realms – heaven, hell and earth, right?” said Yo-ka.
“Exactly,” said Uruha. “Your character has been an angel, and a human, and is the only fallen angel to have been tempted by Moloch, Lucifer’s recruiter” – he waved a hand at Yuuki – “and resisted. So they need your special knowledge to figure out if Lucifer is really going to destroy the world, and why.”
“And I give him his powers back,” Subaru said. “By having sex with him.”
“We’re kind of taking liberty with angel legends here,” said Jin, the writer of the screenplay, who was seated beside the director.
“So then we move on to hell, and we find out Lucifer is, indeed, plotting something with his inner circle. There’s an orgy – and then we meet Nephthenes, MiA’s character, who’s a high-ranking devil – but he doesn’t want to destroy humans. He actually likes them.”
“Do . . . I have to participate in the orgy?” MiA said. “I mean, I’ve done smaller groups before, but . . .”
“You know the rule here, MiA,” Uruha said. “Nobody has to do anything that makes them uncomfortable.” He shot his lover a glance that said, I’ll talk to you about this later. “So after the other two investigate for awhile and find out nothing, Nephthenes decides to secretly go to the angels and offer information. Georgiel demands he prove that he’s on the level and trustworthy, and . . .”
MiA reached over and clasped Subaru’s hand. They both knew this was the point where they were going to have their big sex scene, the one they were saving their first all-the-way-sex-together for.
“So eventually, Lucifer and Moloch figure out what’s going on with Nephthenes, capture him, and set out to destroy everything before the angels can arrive with their own army. And at that point, the angels invade hell and Yoriel” – Yo-ka’s character – “confronts Lucifer, telling him he’s figured out what he hates about humans is their ability to love. Meanwhile, Georgiel is trying to free Nephthenes. He realizes if Nephthenes has earned the right to be reinstated as an angel, the three of them might be able to combine their angelic powers and stop Lucifer. He knows he probably doesn’t have enough power in himself to convert a demon back into an angel – a human, yes, a demon, no. And so, he needs help from Yoriel . . .”
“I’m okay with this threesome, by the way,” MiA said. He looked over at Yo-ka. “That is, if you are.”
“Why would I not be?” Yo-ka said. “You’re damn hot.”
“The three of them enter a temporary pocket dimension outside time and space where Lucifer can’t find them and turn Nephthenes back to his old self, Nephriel. And the three of them are able to use the power of love and magic to seal Lucifer and his devils back into hell.”
“So we’re Sailor Senshi, then?” Yo-ka said. “I call dibs on being Jupiter.”
“And at the end, Yoriel is told he’s still an angel, he’s not going to be turned back into a fallen – but he doesn’t have to return to heaven, either. His new permanent assignment is to be Masahito’s full-time guardian, meaning he can keep living with him and masquerading as a human. Georgiel and Nephriel decide love isn’t just for humans, angels can share it, too – and we close with loving sex between both couples.” Uruha took a deep breath. “Jin, you’ve outdone yourself with this one.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I worked my ass off on it, believe me.”
“Anyone have any questions?” Uruha said.
“I do,” Yuuki said. “Who’s playing Lucifer? You never mentioned that.”
“Good question,” Uruha said. “I’m actually glad it came up. Guys, we’re going to have a special guest. Well, not really a guest, because it’s one of our in-house actors, but it’s someone who usually plays leads.” He glanced at his watch. “In fact, I told him to drop by this meeting if he was in the vicinity.”
At that moment, the door to the office banged open, and every eye turned to behold the figure standing there. Subuaru’s eyes grew wide. Yuuki facepalmed.
“Hail to the king, baby!” Aoi announced. And then, to Uruha, “So, do we start shooting yet?”
“You’re in the movie?” Yuuki said.
“Yes. Cameo part, but hey. It’s a good cameo. With an orgy involved. And I get to wear cool horns. Besides, you need a superstar to be the king of the devils, right?” He looked over at MiA. “Is this the new talent?”
“He’s not new,” Subaru said. “He’s last year’s Performer of the Year.”
“I haven’t had him, so to me, he’s new talent,” Aoi said. “Just kidding. Welcome to the club, Mimi.”
“That’s MiA,” Uruha corrected.
“Can I transfer off this video?” said Yuuki, quietly.
“Thought you were willing to do anything and anyone they threw at you,” Yo-ka said.
“That’s PEOPLE. Not walking egos.”
“Yeah, I think I’m going to like this cast,” Aoi said. “Just let me know when we start.”
“Well, we’re not going to need you until a few days into shooting,” Uruha said. “First thing we’re doing is Byou and Yo-ka’s parts together, and then . . .” He looked over at Subaru and MiA. “The scenes between these two.”
The two young men squeezed hands again. It was coming up fairly quickly in shooting, too.
“We’re probably going to devote a full day to the orgy and related scenes,” Uruha said.
“A full day for me, huh?” said Aoi. “Okay, that fits.”
Across the room, Yuuki was facepalming again. Aoi was just grinning at everyone. And the two boys clasping hands clasped them harder.
This video was going to be a very big deal on a lot of fronts.
* * *
Uruha had asked MiA to stay behind for a few moments after the meeting. MiA knew that since Uruha’s workday was now in full swing, and his boss could come in any moment, that meant an actual meeting, not more office hanky-panky.
“I wanted to talk to you about the orgy scene,” Uruha said. “Or rather, your reaction to it.”
MiA suddenly shifted in his seat and looked embarrassed. “Did . . . did I say something wrong?”
“Not at all,” said Uruha. “Like I said – nobody ever has to do anything they’re not comfortable with, and we don’t question why someone doesn’t want to do a scene, either.”
“It’s not like I’m not comfortable with the concept,” MiA said, quickly. “I mean, I’ve done small groups. And I’ve watched, well . . .” He blushed a little as he remembered taking Subaru to see the Proving Ground at the Suicide Ball. He honestly didn’t know what possessed him to steer the boy in that direction. It was partly a test, to see how Subaru would react to one of the darker faces of the industry . . .
And partly because he was hoping Subaru would get turned on enough to want to sneak into a back room with him. Which was exactly what happened.
“But you think handling more than a couple of guys at once will be difficult?”
Fortunately, Uruha said it so MiA didn’t have to. MiA closed his eyes and nodded. “Yes.”
“I’m going to tell you a director’s secret, MiA,” Uruha said. “It’s a nightmare for us, too. It’s a big pile of bodies that you have to try to keep straight and keep in frame – and a lot of times, it’s so crowded that you can’t really make it look sexy. It starts looking more like parts of a machine pistoning away than anything else. And that’s why a director’s best friend is the editing room.”
“What do you mean?” said MiA.
“I mean that instead of shooting a true orgy, most directors will shoot a few small groups – twosomes, threesomes and foursomes – and intercut between them. So it seems like everyone is going at it with everyone else, but they’re not. And that’s what we’ll be doing for our scene in this video.”
“Oh.” MiA looked visibly relieved.
“In fact” – Uruha reached out and took his actor’s hand – “I have a very specific idea of what I want your part in the scene to be. Remember how we talked about being on-camera together?”
MiA nodded.
“That’s what I want it to be. I want to film you and I together – and it will be intercut with scenes of other actors. Would you like that?”
MiA suddenly brightened considerably. “Yes. Yes, I would!”
“All right. That will be done later on in the shooting – after you’ve had your scenes with Subaru. And I know you’re looking forward to that. It’s why you arrived in my office in the first place.”
And that suddenly felt like decades ago, as far as MiA was concerned. He felt, sometimes, like Uruha had been in his life for eons.
“I know,” he said. “And I am. Very much.” That was the truth. No matter how big a part Uruha played in his life – and someone else may play later – Subaru was still a big part of it.
Uruha squeezed his hand. “I have to get back to work now. And you have an interview later, don’t you?”
“Group interview with the rest of the Avalon guys, yes,” MiA said.
“Go get ready for it and I’ll call you later.” He bent over and kissed MiA – just a brief touch of lips to lips, but enough to leave the younger man wanting more.
He left the office feeling like he was floating on a cloud. He really was going to be doing an on-camera scene with Uruha? It wasn’t going to be just talk anymore, it was going to be put into action? His day had been made.
But of course, he shouldn’t be neglecting his other co-star, either.
He pulled out his phone. He and Subaru needed to have a going-over-lines night – he’d invite the boy to his apartment for an evening, probably the night before they shot their big scene.
Besides, it was fun just spending time with the younger man. There was something to be said for genuinely liking the people you had sex with.
* * *
Subaru sat back on the couch, taking a deep breath. They’d run through the scene about four times now. True to what Yo-ka had said, he was well familiar with his part.
The dialogue was definitely intense. His character, Georgiel, realized he had been followed back to the apartment he was living in while in the human world. He spun around – and confronted a figure he knew well, the ex-angel-turned-devil called Nephthenes. The devil tried to tell him he had information that would help the humans, Georgiel didn’t believe him, and they went into the apartment so they could continue the conversation without disturbing the neighbors.
From there, it escalated into an intense argument in which Nephthenes revealed he had never fully lost his affection for humans, even though he was now a devil, and he could not allow Lucifer to wipe out humanity. Georgiel kept expressing disbelief, Nephthenes kept pushing the issue, and it was revealed they might have had a past together when Nephthenes was the angel Nephriel.
And finally, Georgiel said, “If you’re sincere, prove it! Let’s see you touch me. If a devil touches an angel with wrath he is instantly vaporized. Prove to me that you are on my side!” That would be the cue for MiA to grab Subaru and pull him close, and the two to kiss passionately.
The two of them rehearsed the dialogue up to the “prove it” line – and then abruptly stopped and went back to the beginning. They knew that to actually kiss would be a temptation to do more.
They’d resolved that they weren’t going to go “all the way” – that is, up to penetration – until they were on-camera, and they were sticking to it.
The last run-through, MiA wiped a hand across his forehead and said, “Let’s just take a break now.” He sat on the couch next to Subaru. “You’re really good, you know that?”
“Am I?” Subaru blushed a little. “I try, at least. I really like the script, so I want to do it justice.”
“You’re more than doing it justice,” MiA said. “There might be some awards in that performance.”
“You’re not doing so badly, either,” Subaru said. “I can see why you got the Performer of the Year award.”
“That?” MiA waved his hand. “They don’t give that for acting talent. They give it for the other kind of talent. I got mine for being ‘the most versatile switch in porn.’”
“Really?” Subaru said. “Just for that?”
MiA nodded. “And probably for being one of the Original Four Suicide Boys. The award committee likes to honor trends as much as individual people, and we’re pretty much considered the epitome of the Suicide Boy trend.”
“I would have given it to you for more than that,” Subaru said.
“Oh?” MiA said. “For what?”
“For being, oh, let’s see . . .” Subaru thought a moment. “Charming. Graceful. Classy even when you’re doing something very dirty onscreen. Passionate. And for being a nice person. I mean, I really LIKE you, MiA. I like talking to you.”
In the weeks since the Suicide Ball, the two of them had kept in touch regularly – texting each other, calling, meeting up in MiA’s favorite Starbucks – the one nicknamed “Pornbucks.” But they hadn’t been alone together – this was Subaru’s first time at MiA’s apartment.
Subaru couldn’t wait until they did that scene together, quite frankly. Even though his relationship with Tomoya was continuing to deepen, he still thought a lot about that night at the Suicide Ball. That evening had made him feel like the central figure of a fairy tale who got swept off his feet by a prince.
“I like you too, Subaru,” MiA said. “Unfortunately, the minds of awards people don’t work like yours. They don’t give out trophies for niceness, or class, or anything like that.”
“What about beauty? Because you’re very, very beautiful, MiA. One of the most gorgeous guys I’ve ever seen.”
The would-be director glanced away, a pained expression on his face. Subaru looked worried. “MiA?”
“Subaru . . . what if I told you that I wasn’t born beautiful, like you?”
“But that’s impossible. You’re gorgeous. Just looking at you, you can tell that . . .”
“When we were starting Avalon Video,” MiA said, “we had some pretty big money men backing us. You think we’re a shoestring indie that came out of nowhere? We’re not. Avalon Video is the product of a couple of would-be designers . . . who had some contacts that were pretty big designers. Guys who were willing to pony up some bucks to make our bosses’ vision of bringing the alt-porn movement to Japan come true. And those bucks went into turning us into true alt-porn performers, all right. We were told we could have whatever body modifications we wanted – tattoos, piercings, all of that.”
MiA picked at a thread at the edge of the couch and continued. “Meto and Tsuzuku . . . well, you saw how many tattoos and piercings they got. Koichi got a lot of piercings, and one tattoo . . . Roman numerals on his lower stomach representing the date that Counting Goats was incorporated. He said he wanted to wear his ambition on his very skin. And when it came to me . . .”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “When we collectively decided we were going to do this – go into porn – I looked at myself next to Tsuzuku and Koichi. I knew I was nowhere near as beautiful as they were. I looked at pictures of guys who were already in porn, like Aoi and Ruki. They were gorgeous. I wasn’t. My nose was too big, my lips were to thin, my teeth needed straightening. So I told our benefactors that I wanted just a few piercings in my ears, one in my navel, and no tattoos – but I wanted . . .” He took a deep breath. “I wanted cosmetic surgery.”
Subaru couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Oh, sure, he was privy to all kinds of industry gossip. He knew that there was talk about who went under the knife and who didn’t – most, he was sure, just jealous chatter.
He didn’t think that MiA would be one of them. He was . . . gorgeous. Okay, now that he looked at it, his friend’s nose did look a little, well, too thin. But otherwise? He was fine. Subaru reached out and grasped his friend’s hand, encouraging him to continue.
“They didn’t pay for all of it,” MiA said. “They only paid for part. The rest came from inheritance money from my great-grandmother. She said in her will that the money was to go toward my future – and I considered it an investment in my future. Koichi tried to talk me out of it. He said I was hot as I was. But . . . I went ahead with it anyway.”
“Was it painful?” Subaru said.
MiA nodded. “So much that I wondered sometimes why I was doing it – especially when my eyes were nearly swollen shut, and my teeth hurt from the braces – the invisible kind, so I could film while still wearing them. But when the bandages came off, and I saw myself in the mirror . . .”
He squeezed Subaru’s hand. “For the first time in my life, I liked what I was seeing. I felt like everything a porn star was supposed to be. Beautiful, sensual, sexy . . . when I went before the cameras, I was really feeling it. I wanted to show off everything I was, everything I’d become. So . . . that’s how I became the performer I am. You might say I’m, well, an artificially created porn star.”
Subaru just sat there, feeling stunned by what he had just heard, trying to process it. It wasn’t the confession of the surgery that floored him. It was the confession of insecurity – the fact that MiA thought so little of himself that he had to literally have his face rearranged.
He’d thought of his friend as being strong, confident, in control . . . the perfect prince. But instead he was, well . . .
Human. All too much so.
He suddenly reached out and grabbed MiA, pulling him into his arms. “You’re not artificially created,” he said. “Don’t think of yourself that way. Okay, you had some enhancements. A lot of guys have in our business. But that doesn’t mean you’re artificial. You’re beautiful inside. That’s what really matters.”
MiA just sat there in surprise for a moment . . . and then, his arms came up around Subaru, hugging him. His eyes fluttered closed.
“You wanted to show off everything you were?” Subaru said. “You did. You were able to bring out your own sensuality and warmth. You were able to draw people to you. You drew me to you, didn’t you? And Uruha.”
“He doesn’t know,” MiA said. “I haven’t told him. In fact, nobody knows but the people involved in Avalon.”
“He won’t think less of you if you do,” Subaru said. “He sees the person you are on the inside, not the outside. Just like me.”
MiA suddenly felt a massive rush of warmth inside. This was, well . . . like atonement. Absolution. He had wondered for so long if he had done the right thing, if having the surgery had made him, well, dishonest.
Subaru could see the bright side in all that, the light where MiA could only see darkness.
MiA hugged him harder. “You really are too pure for this business, you know that?”
“I don’t think I’m pure,” Subaru replied.
“Your heart. Your heart is one of the purest I’ve ever encountered. That’s what really matters – not what you may have done on-camera.”
Subaru smiled, gently. “I haven’t done as much on-camera as some other guys,” he said. “At least . . . not yet.”
“You do want to do things with me, don’t you?”
“Definitely.” Subaru leaned in for a kiss – but MiA just kissed him briefly and pulled back.
“Not until we’re in front of the cameras, remember?”
Subaru sighed and leaned his head on MiA’s chest. “That’s getting harder and harder to keep to, you know?”
“I know . . . but it will be worth it.”
“MiA, do you have a picture of yourself before?” There was no question of “before what.”
MiA leaned back. “I do . . . hold on a second.” He opened his phone and flipped to a photo album labeled “Old,” bringing up a picture of a young man that was basically recognizable as him, although the features were a bit different – especially the broad nose.
Subaru studied it for a long moment. “Koichi’s right,” he said. “You were always beautiful.” He looked up. “But now? You’re more beautiful. Your face matches your heart.”
MiA smiled, widely. “I’ll bet you say that to all the boys.”
“Only ones that are you.”
“You think flattery will get you everywhere?” He suddenly pulled Subaru close to him and began to tickle him – his neck, his shoulders, his arms. Subaru burst out in laughs.
“Hey!” he said. “Hey, let me go!”
“Maybe.” He tickled him some more.
“I can tickle back!” Subaru gasped – and he proceeded to do so, running his fingers along MiA’s neck and arms, making his friend laugh as well. The two rolled off the couch and onto the floor, still tickling, still laughing.
The serous mood was dispelled. Both boys were feeling pretty good about things right now – especially MiA. He may have bared his body for the cameras at will, but he rarely bared his soul like that.
The fact that he did, and was rewarded with acceptance and love, felt better than the aftermath of any sex scene. He’d never felt more beautiful.
* * *
Uruha always had closed sets for the filming of sex scenes. It was a rule of his – no bloggers, no press, no cameras except his own, nobody who wasn’t directly involved in the scene.
This went double for the scene that was being prepared. There was a definite tension in the air. Everyone knew that this was IT, the scene that would define the video. They’d already done a couple of takes of the dialogue leading up to this. And now, well . . . it was time for the main event.
Subaru was feeling a little like a reborn virgin. There was a nervous fluttering in his stomach. His heart was pitter-pattering. He felt tense all over. Finally, the thing that he and MiA had been holding back, denying themselves all the time . . . was going to be denied no more.
Uruha walked up to the two of them as their hair and makeup was being patched. Subaru was in the civilian clothes that his character wore while among the humans – a regular short-sleeved black jacket over a long white shirt that fell in soft, draping folds almost to his knees, with black pants and shoes. MiA was dressed in his devil gear – black leather jacket with no shirt underneath, black leather shorts, boots and the horns. He didn’t have wings at the moment – the script established that both angels and devils could fold their wings out of sight while not in use, thus removing the headache of performing sex scenes with wings in the way.
“All right, guys,” Uruha said. “We’re going to go from the dialogue right to the action this time. I know there are a lot of expectations for this scene. I don’t want you to think about them. Be mindful of where the camera is, yes, but otherwise just focus on each other and have fun.”
“You’re not stopping us at all, right?” said Subaru.
“No – just like we did with you and Yo-ka in Heart of the Ocean. We’re going straight through. I want this to be a true act of passion caught on video.”
He went on to explain to them the technical specifics – what camera would be where when, a general overview of what they were going to do once he yelled “Action!” The boys listened – but they were also looking into each other’s eyes, thinking and anticipating.
They were finally going to finish what they had started in a back room at the Suicide Ball.
“All right,” said Uruha. “Places, everyone . . . and let’s make it a good scene!”
The command to roll was given, the soundman called “Speed!” . . . and finally, the moment they had been waiting for – “Action!”
They were picking up from the last line of dialogue before the sex. “If you’re sincere, prove it! Let’s see you touch me. If a devil touches an angel with wrath he is instantly vaporized. Prove to me that you are on my side!”
MiA suddenly grabbed Subaru in his arms, pulling him close. There was a long pause where they stared at each other, both breathing heavily . . .
Then, their lips met, hard and fast. There was no hesitation at all now – both mouths opened, their tongues pushing against one another. The men broke apart quickly, staring into each other’s eyes again, MiA reaching up one trembling hand to brush a lock of hair away from Subaru’s eyes.
They kissed again with even more hunger, hands starting to roam over each other’s bodies. Subaru found the zipper that was holding MiA’s jacket together (barely) and yanked on it, the leather separating with a loud, decisive sound.
Subaru pushed at MiA’s jacket, and MiA shrugged it off, then began to lick down the younger man’s neck, reaching for the buttons of his jacket as Subaru leaned his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a little moan of anticipation.
The jacket was unfastened and pushed off, and both of them tugged upward at Subaru’s shirt, until it was yanked over his blond head and tossed on the floor. MiA wasted no time then, his mouth hungrily devouring a nipple, sucking on it hard as he unzipped Subaru’s pants.
The camera zoomed in for a closeup of MiA’s tongue flicking over Subaru’s nipple, and Subaru’s body trembling beneath his touch – the kind of shudder that could only come from authentic passion, that couldn’t be faked.
Another closeup when MiA moved down further, yanking down his pants, then his underwear, the hardening cock coming into view – which MiA immediately took in his mouth, sucking at the tip, then moving down quickly, the length disappearing into those sensual lips.
“Aaaah!” Subaru cried, reaching down to grasp MiA’s head as his lover sucked rapidly, moving his head up and down, his fingers rubbing the base. He pulled back until it was almost all the way out, then kissed the tip, licking slowly down the shaft, and back up . . .
He stood up, grabbing Subaru’s shoulders and maneuvering him over to the bed. A push, and Subaru tumbled to the mattress. MiA stood at the foot, slowly unfastening the leather shorts, pushing them and his string bikini underwear down. Subaru sat up to get a look at what was revealed.
MiA took Subaru’s hand and led it to his cock. Subaru ran his fingers along it, tracing the shape reverently as if it were a holy relic, rubbing his thumb over the tip – then leaned over, licking along it as MiA had done to him, his tongue sweeping from the bottom of the shaft to the top.
He began to suck at it, sliding one hand along MiA’s body to caress a nipple, the fingers pinching and caressing the bud as his head moved up and down, slowly. MiA closed his eyes, leaning back and moaning loudly, his hips pushing forward, thrusting gently into his lover’s mouth.
Subaru pulled back, and moved up to kiss MiA hard again, the camera capturing the way they began to grind against each other, hands sliding over every surface of skin they could, droplets of sweat rolling down their skin.
They broke apart, and MiA gently pushed at Subaru’s shoulders, indicating he should turn around – then pushed him down to the bed, so he was on all fours. Subaru moaned loudly, moving forward on the bed so he was in a position for MiA to kneel behind him.
The cameras turned off long enough to allow MiA to rid himself of his boots and garters and slide the pants and underwear down and off – a process that wouldn’t look sexy on-camera. They shifted to better capture the heart of the action between the two men as MiA grabbed at a bottle of lube and began slicking his fingers.
The cameras were turned on again as MiA brought a slicked finger to Subaru’s entrance, circling it slowly, then gently pushing in. The filmmakers were looking to catch Subaru’s reaction to the penetration. He didn’t disappoint – his eyes snapped open and he drew in a deep breath. He was feeling what he had wanted to feel for so long – MiA’s flesh within him, moving inside him, stroking sensitive places.
A second finger went in, moving faster, and Subaru began to move against them, moaning in anticipation of more, hands gripping the bedding below him. There was no faking the hunger, the need conveyed by his full body, the way he tensed all over, hips thrusting backward, droplets of sweat running down his skin.
By the time MiA pushed in the third finger, he barely had to pump them, because Subaru was thrusting back hard, fucking himself on the welcome invasion, letting a small moan of “Please . . .” escape him. They had to be very careful not to use each other’s names during on-camera sex – it would ruin the illusion that this was an angel and a devil going at it, not two very human Japanese men – but that kind of restraint was very hard for Subaru at the moment.
MiA finally pulled his fingers out, quickly wiping them off on a cloth he’d placed next to them for that purpose and slicking his cock. Pouring more lube into Subaru’s cleft, his own body was trembling in anticipation of the tight heat he’d wanted to feel since the night of the Suicide Ball.
He grasped the two cheeks of that beautiful ass, spread them apart gently, and pushed against the opening, as Subaru moaned “Yes, yes, do it . . .”
Then, he was sliding into him at last, and both men had their eyes tightly shut, losing themselves in the moment, in each other. There was no thought at all given to the cameras.
MiA ran his fingers over Subaru’s back as they paused to adjust to the sensation, as if he couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t stop touching him. He began to thrust gently, slowly, feeling himself slide through that hot, hot channel, the camera lovingly capturing his torso starting to glisten with sweat, his belly ring gleaming in the midst of it all, his nipples hardened to little peaks from lust.
He began to speed up, and Subaru began to moan, loudly, pushing back against him. When MiA let the hand that hadn’t penetrated him slide over his face, caressing his lips, Subaru licked at the fingers eagerly, sucking on one as it was plunged into his mouth. The finger began to move in and out, mimicking the motion of the cock inside him.
MiA pulled upward on Subaru’s shoulders, and Subaru pulled himself up into a kneeling position, letting the camera get a body shot of him as he thrust hard against MiA’s cock, the shot capturing MiA’s hands moving over his body, lingering on the nipples, moving down over his sweat-streaked belly to gently touch his cock.
“Oh, oh, YES!” Subaru cried as those fingers wrapped around him, stroking him, and he was completely lost in heat now, tipping his head back onto MiA’s shoulder, moaning loudly, kissing him hungrily when MiA turned his face toward him.
MiA ran his thumb back and forth over the tip, and Subaru trembled hard, saying, “Oh, oh, I’m so close, oh my God, so . . . “ He suddenly leaned back and let out a loud cry that was closer to a keening wail, his come pouring from him, all over MiA’s fingers, all over his stomach, all over everything.
He fell back into an all-fours position, and MiA grasped his hips, thrusting into him hard, plunging into that sweet ass, caught in an infinite loop of pleasure . . . and then he felt his own passion burst, and he pulled out of Subaru just in time for the camera to catch him shooting his essence all over the raised bottom, a perfect come shot.
MiA collapsed to the bed next to Subaru, and they kissed tenderly, wrapping their arms around each other. This had been more than a scene – it had been a consummation. Both of them might ultimately have other men at the center of their lives, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have a very special bond with each other.
The two of them lay there, just holding each other, Subaru’s eyes closed tightly. MiA leaned his head against the younger man’s, not wanting to break contact with him. For the two of them, the entire world had shrunk to the space that they occupied.
There was no applause as there usually was at the conclusion of a successful sex scene. Instead, the crew just sat there quietly, as if in awe. They knew what they had just witnessed wasn’t a mere fuck – there was a real connection between the two men involved.
Uruha approached them with a blanket, which he tenderly spread over the two, after placing a box of baby wipes beside them. “Just break down quietly and leave them,” he told his crew.
MiA slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Uruha. “How was it?” he said.
Uruha bent over and kissed him. “Wonderful,” he said. “Both of you. And you can stay here for as long as you like – we have this place until tomorrow.”
“Mmm . . .” Subaru snuggled closer to MiA, wrapping his arms around him tighter.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone,” Uruha said. “There’s a shower next door for when you need it.”
Neither of them were going anywhere. They were going to linger, close to each other, as long as they could and make this moment last. They’d waited for it long enough – and every second had been worth it.
The director tiptoed out of the room, and the two young men on the bed snuggled closer and fell asleep.
* * *
MiA walked across the set to where Uruha was setting up cameras. It was their last day of shooting in houses and apartments – tomorrow, they’d start doing exteriors, and finally, they’d finish up on the heaven and hell sets that had been borrowed from the horror film people.
“Hi,” he said. “Everything going well?”
“Everything is absolutely spectacular,” Uruha said. “You should see the rushes of your scene with Subaru. They’re positively stunning. I have to admit I had my doubts about the two of you saving your first time together for in front of the cameras – but it was incredible.”
“It’s because it was with Subaru,” MiA said. “He’s . . . something special.”
“He is,” Uruha said. “And you genuinely like each other. That’s important. Most directors don’t realize how a personal connection between actors can make all the difference in a scene.”
“I just wonder how our scene together is going to look,” MiA said, softly.
Uruha put an arm around him. “If it’s anything like our private time? I think it’ll come out well. More than well.”
MiA thought about the scene with Subaru . . . and about the conversation that had preceded it. He had totally leveled with him, come completely clean, been a hundred percent honest . . .
And his honesty had been rewarded. Subaru didn’t care about his outward appearance, or what he’d done to enhance it. Subaru thought he had a beautiful heart. So when they did their scene together, he felt more beautiful on-camera than he ever had.
If he wanted his scene with Uruha to be that successful, he thought, he needed the same level of honesty between them.
“Uruha,” he said, softly. “how much do you know about me?”
Uruha blinked, his face bearing a puzzled expression. “I know you’re talented, smart and ambitious – as well as very sweet.”
“Do you know that I’ve had surgery? On my face? Because, well . . .”
Uruha put a hand on MiA’s arm. “I know,” he said.
Now it was MiA’s turn to look puzzled. “You do?”
“There’s a certain shape to a nose when a person’s had that done. I picked up that your nose had that shape from the get-go.”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“Not at all,” Uruha said. “This is an industry that depends on male beauty. It happens. It doesn’t make me think any less of you.”
MiA suddenly felt a wave of relief rush through him – even bigger than the one that had rushed through him after his initial confession to Subaru. “I’m so glad,” he said.
“Did you think it would bother me?” Uruha said.
MiA looked down. “I haven’t told many people.”
“You don’t need to,” Uruha said. “It’s nobody’s business but those you choose to tell. Not everyone is a director and notices these things, you know? Besides, your face might be beautiful, but it’s what’s inside you that’s REALLY beautiful.”
MiA suddenly threw his arms around the other man. “You don’t know how much it means to her that from you.”
“Did you feel bad about it? Having the surgery, I mean?”
MiA felt like his very heart was sparkling. “Not anymore,” he said.
He’d put what he’d considered his secret shame behind him. He no longer felt like an artificially created porn star – he felt like a full person. A little enhanced on the outside, maybe – but perfectly fine on the inside.
In other words, truly beautiful.
END NOTE: When it comes to MiA, the fangirl speculation about his plastic surgery is a 900-pound gorilla, an elephant in the room. It’s unavoidable. The MiA of this fanfic universe, while based on the public persona of the actual J-rocker, has a different life and career. His decision to have plastic surgery here is based solely on his status as a performer in the adult video industry – as one might imagine, plastic surgery is rampant in porn. I don’t know what the real MiA’s circumstances were, I don’t pretend to know, and I make no judgments on him – it’s his life, his face and his decision.
Chapter: Thirty-second in The Camera Eye series. Links to previous installments can be found here
Author: Boots
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Porn industry AU, drama, smut, romance
Warnings: Male/male sex, polyamory
Pairing: MiA (Mejibray) x Subaru (Royz), Uruha (GazettE) x MiA
Disclaimer: GazettE belongs to PS Company, Mejibray belongs to White Side Group, Royz belongs to BP Records, I own the story only.
Summary: After much anticipation, PSC Productions and Eros Films’ biggest co-production yet is about to go before the cameras, and Subaru and MiA are about to experience their first time “going all the way” together. But before that happens, there’s a confession about his past MiA needs to make.
Notes:: First in a miniseries-within-a-series dealing with the making of Datenshi Blue 2: Heaven, Hell and Earth. All characters here are based on J-rockers, but I have no knowledge of their actual lives and motivations, nor do I pretend to know. (Please see additional notes at the end of the fic)
After what seemed like an eternity, what was still being talked about as Project Top Secret – but what those involved now knew was actually Datenshi Blue 2: Heaven, Hell and Earth – was about to go before the cameras.
Uruha had his final briefing with his principal cast – and as he looked around the room, he had to admit he had a good group. At one end of his office sat the stars of the original film – Yo-ka, Yuuki and Byou. At the other were the two newcomers who were going to bring added interest to the project – Subaru and MiA.
“All right,” Uruha said. “I trust you’ve all read the script at this point, and started working on your lines?”
Subaru nodded enthusiastically. “Yo-ka and I were running lines before we got here!” he said.
“I swear he’s got the whole script memorized,” Yo-ka said. “Not just his part – everyone’s.” He turned to Subaru. “How do you learn it all so fast?”
Subaru shrugged. “It just comes natural, I guess.”
“I’d like to have your natural talent,” Yuuki said. “Some days I swear I’m going to write the script on my co-stars’ bodies.”
“Everyone will know you’re cheating,” said Yo-ka.
“I’ll pass them off as tattoos,” Yuuki replied.
“I’ll just provide a basic overview of the storyline as a review,” Uruha said. “Yo-ka, your character is now living on earth as a human with Masahito – Byou’s character. You’re running a boutique together, you’re very happy. And then, Subaru, your character, Georgiel, shows up and tells him he’s being reinstated as an angel. Signs of the apocalypse are starting to happen on Earth and the angels are afraid that Lucifer, King of the Devils, and his armies are about to destroy the human race.”
“And I’m being reinstated because I’m the only person who understands all three realms – heaven, hell and earth, right?” said Yo-ka.
“Exactly,” said Uruha. “Your character has been an angel, and a human, and is the only fallen angel to have been tempted by Moloch, Lucifer’s recruiter” – he waved a hand at Yuuki – “and resisted. So they need your special knowledge to figure out if Lucifer is really going to destroy the world, and why.”
“And I give him his powers back,” Subaru said. “By having sex with him.”
“We’re kind of taking liberty with angel legends here,” said Jin, the writer of the screenplay, who was seated beside the director.
“So then we move on to hell, and we find out Lucifer is, indeed, plotting something with his inner circle. There’s an orgy – and then we meet Nephthenes, MiA’s character, who’s a high-ranking devil – but he doesn’t want to destroy humans. He actually likes them.”
“Do . . . I have to participate in the orgy?” MiA said. “I mean, I’ve done smaller groups before, but . . .”
“You know the rule here, MiA,” Uruha said. “Nobody has to do anything that makes them uncomfortable.” He shot his lover a glance that said, I’ll talk to you about this later. “So after the other two investigate for awhile and find out nothing, Nephthenes decides to secretly go to the angels and offer information. Georgiel demands he prove that he’s on the level and trustworthy, and . . .”
MiA reached over and clasped Subaru’s hand. They both knew this was the point where they were going to have their big sex scene, the one they were saving their first all-the-way-sex-together for.
“So eventually, Lucifer and Moloch figure out what’s going on with Nephthenes, capture him, and set out to destroy everything before the angels can arrive with their own army. And at that point, the angels invade hell and Yoriel” – Yo-ka’s character – “confronts Lucifer, telling him he’s figured out what he hates about humans is their ability to love. Meanwhile, Georgiel is trying to free Nephthenes. He realizes if Nephthenes has earned the right to be reinstated as an angel, the three of them might be able to combine their angelic powers and stop Lucifer. He knows he probably doesn’t have enough power in himself to convert a demon back into an angel – a human, yes, a demon, no. And so, he needs help from Yoriel . . .”
“I’m okay with this threesome, by the way,” MiA said. He looked over at Yo-ka. “That is, if you are.”
“Why would I not be?” Yo-ka said. “You’re damn hot.”
“The three of them enter a temporary pocket dimension outside time and space where Lucifer can’t find them and turn Nephthenes back to his old self, Nephriel. And the three of them are able to use the power of love and magic to seal Lucifer and his devils back into hell.”
“So we’re Sailor Senshi, then?” Yo-ka said. “I call dibs on being Jupiter.”
“And at the end, Yoriel is told he’s still an angel, he’s not going to be turned back into a fallen – but he doesn’t have to return to heaven, either. His new permanent assignment is to be Masahito’s full-time guardian, meaning he can keep living with him and masquerading as a human. Georgiel and Nephriel decide love isn’t just for humans, angels can share it, too – and we close with loving sex between both couples.” Uruha took a deep breath. “Jin, you’ve outdone yourself with this one.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I worked my ass off on it, believe me.”
“Anyone have any questions?” Uruha said.
“I do,” Yuuki said. “Who’s playing Lucifer? You never mentioned that.”
“Good question,” Uruha said. “I’m actually glad it came up. Guys, we’re going to have a special guest. Well, not really a guest, because it’s one of our in-house actors, but it’s someone who usually plays leads.” He glanced at his watch. “In fact, I told him to drop by this meeting if he was in the vicinity.”
At that moment, the door to the office banged open, and every eye turned to behold the figure standing there. Subuaru’s eyes grew wide. Yuuki facepalmed.
“Hail to the king, baby!” Aoi announced. And then, to Uruha, “So, do we start shooting yet?”
“You’re in the movie?” Yuuki said.
“Yes. Cameo part, but hey. It’s a good cameo. With an orgy involved. And I get to wear cool horns. Besides, you need a superstar to be the king of the devils, right?” He looked over at MiA. “Is this the new talent?”
“He’s not new,” Subaru said. “He’s last year’s Performer of the Year.”
“I haven’t had him, so to me, he’s new talent,” Aoi said. “Just kidding. Welcome to the club, Mimi.”
“That’s MiA,” Uruha corrected.
“Can I transfer off this video?” said Yuuki, quietly.
“Thought you were willing to do anything and anyone they threw at you,” Yo-ka said.
“That’s PEOPLE. Not walking egos.”
“Yeah, I think I’m going to like this cast,” Aoi said. “Just let me know when we start.”
“Well, we’re not going to need you until a few days into shooting,” Uruha said. “First thing we’re doing is Byou and Yo-ka’s parts together, and then . . .” He looked over at Subaru and MiA. “The scenes between these two.”
The two young men squeezed hands again. It was coming up fairly quickly in shooting, too.
“We’re probably going to devote a full day to the orgy and related scenes,” Uruha said.
“A full day for me, huh?” said Aoi. “Okay, that fits.”
Across the room, Yuuki was facepalming again. Aoi was just grinning at everyone. And the two boys clasping hands clasped them harder.
This video was going to be a very big deal on a lot of fronts.
* * *
Uruha had asked MiA to stay behind for a few moments after the meeting. MiA knew that since Uruha’s workday was now in full swing, and his boss could come in any moment, that meant an actual meeting, not more office hanky-panky.
“I wanted to talk to you about the orgy scene,” Uruha said. “Or rather, your reaction to it.”
MiA suddenly shifted in his seat and looked embarrassed. “Did . . . did I say something wrong?”
“Not at all,” said Uruha. “Like I said – nobody ever has to do anything they’re not comfortable with, and we don’t question why someone doesn’t want to do a scene, either.”
“It’s not like I’m not comfortable with the concept,” MiA said, quickly. “I mean, I’ve done small groups. And I’ve watched, well . . .” He blushed a little as he remembered taking Subaru to see the Proving Ground at the Suicide Ball. He honestly didn’t know what possessed him to steer the boy in that direction. It was partly a test, to see how Subaru would react to one of the darker faces of the industry . . .
And partly because he was hoping Subaru would get turned on enough to want to sneak into a back room with him. Which was exactly what happened.
“But you think handling more than a couple of guys at once will be difficult?”
Fortunately, Uruha said it so MiA didn’t have to. MiA closed his eyes and nodded. “Yes.”
“I’m going to tell you a director’s secret, MiA,” Uruha said. “It’s a nightmare for us, too. It’s a big pile of bodies that you have to try to keep straight and keep in frame – and a lot of times, it’s so crowded that you can’t really make it look sexy. It starts looking more like parts of a machine pistoning away than anything else. And that’s why a director’s best friend is the editing room.”
“What do you mean?” said MiA.
“I mean that instead of shooting a true orgy, most directors will shoot a few small groups – twosomes, threesomes and foursomes – and intercut between them. So it seems like everyone is going at it with everyone else, but they’re not. And that’s what we’ll be doing for our scene in this video.”
“Oh.” MiA looked visibly relieved.
“In fact” – Uruha reached out and took his actor’s hand – “I have a very specific idea of what I want your part in the scene to be. Remember how we talked about being on-camera together?”
MiA nodded.
“That’s what I want it to be. I want to film you and I together – and it will be intercut with scenes of other actors. Would you like that?”
MiA suddenly brightened considerably. “Yes. Yes, I would!”
“All right. That will be done later on in the shooting – after you’ve had your scenes with Subaru. And I know you’re looking forward to that. It’s why you arrived in my office in the first place.”
And that suddenly felt like decades ago, as far as MiA was concerned. He felt, sometimes, like Uruha had been in his life for eons.
“I know,” he said. “And I am. Very much.” That was the truth. No matter how big a part Uruha played in his life – and someone else may play later – Subaru was still a big part of it.
Uruha squeezed his hand. “I have to get back to work now. And you have an interview later, don’t you?”
“Group interview with the rest of the Avalon guys, yes,” MiA said.
“Go get ready for it and I’ll call you later.” He bent over and kissed MiA – just a brief touch of lips to lips, but enough to leave the younger man wanting more.
He left the office feeling like he was floating on a cloud. He really was going to be doing an on-camera scene with Uruha? It wasn’t going to be just talk anymore, it was going to be put into action? His day had been made.
But of course, he shouldn’t be neglecting his other co-star, either.
He pulled out his phone. He and Subaru needed to have a going-over-lines night – he’d invite the boy to his apartment for an evening, probably the night before they shot their big scene.
Besides, it was fun just spending time with the younger man. There was something to be said for genuinely liking the people you had sex with.
* * *
Subaru sat back on the couch, taking a deep breath. They’d run through the scene about four times now. True to what Yo-ka had said, he was well familiar with his part.
The dialogue was definitely intense. His character, Georgiel, realized he had been followed back to the apartment he was living in while in the human world. He spun around – and confronted a figure he knew well, the ex-angel-turned-devil called Nephthenes. The devil tried to tell him he had information that would help the humans, Georgiel didn’t believe him, and they went into the apartment so they could continue the conversation without disturbing the neighbors.
From there, it escalated into an intense argument in which Nephthenes revealed he had never fully lost his affection for humans, even though he was now a devil, and he could not allow Lucifer to wipe out humanity. Georgiel kept expressing disbelief, Nephthenes kept pushing the issue, and it was revealed they might have had a past together when Nephthenes was the angel Nephriel.
And finally, Georgiel said, “If you’re sincere, prove it! Let’s see you touch me. If a devil touches an angel with wrath he is instantly vaporized. Prove to me that you are on my side!” That would be the cue for MiA to grab Subaru and pull him close, and the two to kiss passionately.
The two of them rehearsed the dialogue up to the “prove it” line – and then abruptly stopped and went back to the beginning. They knew that to actually kiss would be a temptation to do more.
They’d resolved that they weren’t going to go “all the way” – that is, up to penetration – until they were on-camera, and they were sticking to it.
The last run-through, MiA wiped a hand across his forehead and said, “Let’s just take a break now.” He sat on the couch next to Subaru. “You’re really good, you know that?”
“Am I?” Subaru blushed a little. “I try, at least. I really like the script, so I want to do it justice.”
“You’re more than doing it justice,” MiA said. “There might be some awards in that performance.”
“You’re not doing so badly, either,” Subaru said. “I can see why you got the Performer of the Year award.”
“That?” MiA waved his hand. “They don’t give that for acting talent. They give it for the other kind of talent. I got mine for being ‘the most versatile switch in porn.’”
“Really?” Subaru said. “Just for that?”
MiA nodded. “And probably for being one of the Original Four Suicide Boys. The award committee likes to honor trends as much as individual people, and we’re pretty much considered the epitome of the Suicide Boy trend.”
“I would have given it to you for more than that,” Subaru said.
“Oh?” MiA said. “For what?”
“For being, oh, let’s see . . .” Subaru thought a moment. “Charming. Graceful. Classy even when you’re doing something very dirty onscreen. Passionate. And for being a nice person. I mean, I really LIKE you, MiA. I like talking to you.”
In the weeks since the Suicide Ball, the two of them had kept in touch regularly – texting each other, calling, meeting up in MiA’s favorite Starbucks – the one nicknamed “Pornbucks.” But they hadn’t been alone together – this was Subaru’s first time at MiA’s apartment.
Subaru couldn’t wait until they did that scene together, quite frankly. Even though his relationship with Tomoya was continuing to deepen, he still thought a lot about that night at the Suicide Ball. That evening had made him feel like the central figure of a fairy tale who got swept off his feet by a prince.
“I like you too, Subaru,” MiA said. “Unfortunately, the minds of awards people don’t work like yours. They don’t give out trophies for niceness, or class, or anything like that.”
“What about beauty? Because you’re very, very beautiful, MiA. One of the most gorgeous guys I’ve ever seen.”
The would-be director glanced away, a pained expression on his face. Subaru looked worried. “MiA?”
“Subaru . . . what if I told you that I wasn’t born beautiful, like you?”
“But that’s impossible. You’re gorgeous. Just looking at you, you can tell that . . .”
“When we were starting Avalon Video,” MiA said, “we had some pretty big money men backing us. You think we’re a shoestring indie that came out of nowhere? We’re not. Avalon Video is the product of a couple of would-be designers . . . who had some contacts that were pretty big designers. Guys who were willing to pony up some bucks to make our bosses’ vision of bringing the alt-porn movement to Japan come true. And those bucks went into turning us into true alt-porn performers, all right. We were told we could have whatever body modifications we wanted – tattoos, piercings, all of that.”
MiA picked at a thread at the edge of the couch and continued. “Meto and Tsuzuku . . . well, you saw how many tattoos and piercings they got. Koichi got a lot of piercings, and one tattoo . . . Roman numerals on his lower stomach representing the date that Counting Goats was incorporated. He said he wanted to wear his ambition on his very skin. And when it came to me . . .”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “When we collectively decided we were going to do this – go into porn – I looked at myself next to Tsuzuku and Koichi. I knew I was nowhere near as beautiful as they were. I looked at pictures of guys who were already in porn, like Aoi and Ruki. They were gorgeous. I wasn’t. My nose was too big, my lips were to thin, my teeth needed straightening. So I told our benefactors that I wanted just a few piercings in my ears, one in my navel, and no tattoos – but I wanted . . .” He took a deep breath. “I wanted cosmetic surgery.”
Subaru couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Oh, sure, he was privy to all kinds of industry gossip. He knew that there was talk about who went under the knife and who didn’t – most, he was sure, just jealous chatter.
He didn’t think that MiA would be one of them. He was . . . gorgeous. Okay, now that he looked at it, his friend’s nose did look a little, well, too thin. But otherwise? He was fine. Subaru reached out and grasped his friend’s hand, encouraging him to continue.
“They didn’t pay for all of it,” MiA said. “They only paid for part. The rest came from inheritance money from my great-grandmother. She said in her will that the money was to go toward my future – and I considered it an investment in my future. Koichi tried to talk me out of it. He said I was hot as I was. But . . . I went ahead with it anyway.”
“Was it painful?” Subaru said.
MiA nodded. “So much that I wondered sometimes why I was doing it – especially when my eyes were nearly swollen shut, and my teeth hurt from the braces – the invisible kind, so I could film while still wearing them. But when the bandages came off, and I saw myself in the mirror . . .”
He squeezed Subaru’s hand. “For the first time in my life, I liked what I was seeing. I felt like everything a porn star was supposed to be. Beautiful, sensual, sexy . . . when I went before the cameras, I was really feeling it. I wanted to show off everything I was, everything I’d become. So . . . that’s how I became the performer I am. You might say I’m, well, an artificially created porn star.”
Subaru just sat there, feeling stunned by what he had just heard, trying to process it. It wasn’t the confession of the surgery that floored him. It was the confession of insecurity – the fact that MiA thought so little of himself that he had to literally have his face rearranged.
He’d thought of his friend as being strong, confident, in control . . . the perfect prince. But instead he was, well . . .
Human. All too much so.
He suddenly reached out and grabbed MiA, pulling him into his arms. “You’re not artificially created,” he said. “Don’t think of yourself that way. Okay, you had some enhancements. A lot of guys have in our business. But that doesn’t mean you’re artificial. You’re beautiful inside. That’s what really matters.”
MiA just sat there in surprise for a moment . . . and then, his arms came up around Subaru, hugging him. His eyes fluttered closed.
“You wanted to show off everything you were?” Subaru said. “You did. You were able to bring out your own sensuality and warmth. You were able to draw people to you. You drew me to you, didn’t you? And Uruha.”
“He doesn’t know,” MiA said. “I haven’t told him. In fact, nobody knows but the people involved in Avalon.”
“He won’t think less of you if you do,” Subaru said. “He sees the person you are on the inside, not the outside. Just like me.”
MiA suddenly felt a massive rush of warmth inside. This was, well . . . like atonement. Absolution. He had wondered for so long if he had done the right thing, if having the surgery had made him, well, dishonest.
Subaru could see the bright side in all that, the light where MiA could only see darkness.
MiA hugged him harder. “You really are too pure for this business, you know that?”
“I don’t think I’m pure,” Subaru replied.
“Your heart. Your heart is one of the purest I’ve ever encountered. That’s what really matters – not what you may have done on-camera.”
Subaru smiled, gently. “I haven’t done as much on-camera as some other guys,” he said. “At least . . . not yet.”
“You do want to do things with me, don’t you?”
“Definitely.” Subaru leaned in for a kiss – but MiA just kissed him briefly and pulled back.
“Not until we’re in front of the cameras, remember?”
Subaru sighed and leaned his head on MiA’s chest. “That’s getting harder and harder to keep to, you know?”
“I know . . . but it will be worth it.”
“MiA, do you have a picture of yourself before?” There was no question of “before what.”
MiA leaned back. “I do . . . hold on a second.” He opened his phone and flipped to a photo album labeled “Old,” bringing up a picture of a young man that was basically recognizable as him, although the features were a bit different – especially the broad nose.
Subaru studied it for a long moment. “Koichi’s right,” he said. “You were always beautiful.” He looked up. “But now? You’re more beautiful. Your face matches your heart.”
MiA smiled, widely. “I’ll bet you say that to all the boys.”
“Only ones that are you.”
“You think flattery will get you everywhere?” He suddenly pulled Subaru close to him and began to tickle him – his neck, his shoulders, his arms. Subaru burst out in laughs.
“Hey!” he said. “Hey, let me go!”
“Maybe.” He tickled him some more.
“I can tickle back!” Subaru gasped – and he proceeded to do so, running his fingers along MiA’s neck and arms, making his friend laugh as well. The two rolled off the couch and onto the floor, still tickling, still laughing.
The serous mood was dispelled. Both boys were feeling pretty good about things right now – especially MiA. He may have bared his body for the cameras at will, but he rarely bared his soul like that.
The fact that he did, and was rewarded with acceptance and love, felt better than the aftermath of any sex scene. He’d never felt more beautiful.
* * *
Uruha always had closed sets for the filming of sex scenes. It was a rule of his – no bloggers, no press, no cameras except his own, nobody who wasn’t directly involved in the scene.
This went double for the scene that was being prepared. There was a definite tension in the air. Everyone knew that this was IT, the scene that would define the video. They’d already done a couple of takes of the dialogue leading up to this. And now, well . . . it was time for the main event.
Subaru was feeling a little like a reborn virgin. There was a nervous fluttering in his stomach. His heart was pitter-pattering. He felt tense all over. Finally, the thing that he and MiA had been holding back, denying themselves all the time . . . was going to be denied no more.
Uruha walked up to the two of them as their hair and makeup was being patched. Subaru was in the civilian clothes that his character wore while among the humans – a regular short-sleeved black jacket over a long white shirt that fell in soft, draping folds almost to his knees, with black pants and shoes. MiA was dressed in his devil gear – black leather jacket with no shirt underneath, black leather shorts, boots and the horns. He didn’t have wings at the moment – the script established that both angels and devils could fold their wings out of sight while not in use, thus removing the headache of performing sex scenes with wings in the way.
“All right, guys,” Uruha said. “We’re going to go from the dialogue right to the action this time. I know there are a lot of expectations for this scene. I don’t want you to think about them. Be mindful of where the camera is, yes, but otherwise just focus on each other and have fun.”
“You’re not stopping us at all, right?” said Subaru.
“No – just like we did with you and Yo-ka in Heart of the Ocean. We’re going straight through. I want this to be a true act of passion caught on video.”
He went on to explain to them the technical specifics – what camera would be where when, a general overview of what they were going to do once he yelled “Action!” The boys listened – but they were also looking into each other’s eyes, thinking and anticipating.
They were finally going to finish what they had started in a back room at the Suicide Ball.
“All right,” said Uruha. “Places, everyone . . . and let’s make it a good scene!”
The command to roll was given, the soundman called “Speed!” . . . and finally, the moment they had been waiting for – “Action!”
They were picking up from the last line of dialogue before the sex. “If you’re sincere, prove it! Let’s see you touch me. If a devil touches an angel with wrath he is instantly vaporized. Prove to me that you are on my side!”
MiA suddenly grabbed Subaru in his arms, pulling him close. There was a long pause where they stared at each other, both breathing heavily . . .
Then, their lips met, hard and fast. There was no hesitation at all now – both mouths opened, their tongues pushing against one another. The men broke apart quickly, staring into each other’s eyes again, MiA reaching up one trembling hand to brush a lock of hair away from Subaru’s eyes.
They kissed again with even more hunger, hands starting to roam over each other’s bodies. Subaru found the zipper that was holding MiA’s jacket together (barely) and yanked on it, the leather separating with a loud, decisive sound.
Subaru pushed at MiA’s jacket, and MiA shrugged it off, then began to lick down the younger man’s neck, reaching for the buttons of his jacket as Subaru leaned his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a little moan of anticipation.
The jacket was unfastened and pushed off, and both of them tugged upward at Subaru’s shirt, until it was yanked over his blond head and tossed on the floor. MiA wasted no time then, his mouth hungrily devouring a nipple, sucking on it hard as he unzipped Subaru’s pants.
The camera zoomed in for a closeup of MiA’s tongue flicking over Subaru’s nipple, and Subaru’s body trembling beneath his touch – the kind of shudder that could only come from authentic passion, that couldn’t be faked.
Another closeup when MiA moved down further, yanking down his pants, then his underwear, the hardening cock coming into view – which MiA immediately took in his mouth, sucking at the tip, then moving down quickly, the length disappearing into those sensual lips.
“Aaaah!” Subaru cried, reaching down to grasp MiA’s head as his lover sucked rapidly, moving his head up and down, his fingers rubbing the base. He pulled back until it was almost all the way out, then kissed the tip, licking slowly down the shaft, and back up . . .
He stood up, grabbing Subaru’s shoulders and maneuvering him over to the bed. A push, and Subaru tumbled to the mattress. MiA stood at the foot, slowly unfastening the leather shorts, pushing them and his string bikini underwear down. Subaru sat up to get a look at what was revealed.
MiA took Subaru’s hand and led it to his cock. Subaru ran his fingers along it, tracing the shape reverently as if it were a holy relic, rubbing his thumb over the tip – then leaned over, licking along it as MiA had done to him, his tongue sweeping from the bottom of the shaft to the top.
He began to suck at it, sliding one hand along MiA’s body to caress a nipple, the fingers pinching and caressing the bud as his head moved up and down, slowly. MiA closed his eyes, leaning back and moaning loudly, his hips pushing forward, thrusting gently into his lover’s mouth.
Subaru pulled back, and moved up to kiss MiA hard again, the camera capturing the way they began to grind against each other, hands sliding over every surface of skin they could, droplets of sweat rolling down their skin.
They broke apart, and MiA gently pushed at Subaru’s shoulders, indicating he should turn around – then pushed him down to the bed, so he was on all fours. Subaru moaned loudly, moving forward on the bed so he was in a position for MiA to kneel behind him.
The cameras turned off long enough to allow MiA to rid himself of his boots and garters and slide the pants and underwear down and off – a process that wouldn’t look sexy on-camera. They shifted to better capture the heart of the action between the two men as MiA grabbed at a bottle of lube and began slicking his fingers.
The cameras were turned on again as MiA brought a slicked finger to Subaru’s entrance, circling it slowly, then gently pushing in. The filmmakers were looking to catch Subaru’s reaction to the penetration. He didn’t disappoint – his eyes snapped open and he drew in a deep breath. He was feeling what he had wanted to feel for so long – MiA’s flesh within him, moving inside him, stroking sensitive places.
A second finger went in, moving faster, and Subaru began to move against them, moaning in anticipation of more, hands gripping the bedding below him. There was no faking the hunger, the need conveyed by his full body, the way he tensed all over, hips thrusting backward, droplets of sweat running down his skin.
By the time MiA pushed in the third finger, he barely had to pump them, because Subaru was thrusting back hard, fucking himself on the welcome invasion, letting a small moan of “Please . . .” escape him. They had to be very careful not to use each other’s names during on-camera sex – it would ruin the illusion that this was an angel and a devil going at it, not two very human Japanese men – but that kind of restraint was very hard for Subaru at the moment.
MiA finally pulled his fingers out, quickly wiping them off on a cloth he’d placed next to them for that purpose and slicking his cock. Pouring more lube into Subaru’s cleft, his own body was trembling in anticipation of the tight heat he’d wanted to feel since the night of the Suicide Ball.
He grasped the two cheeks of that beautiful ass, spread them apart gently, and pushed against the opening, as Subaru moaned “Yes, yes, do it . . .”
Then, he was sliding into him at last, and both men had their eyes tightly shut, losing themselves in the moment, in each other. There was no thought at all given to the cameras.
MiA ran his fingers over Subaru’s back as they paused to adjust to the sensation, as if he couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t stop touching him. He began to thrust gently, slowly, feeling himself slide through that hot, hot channel, the camera lovingly capturing his torso starting to glisten with sweat, his belly ring gleaming in the midst of it all, his nipples hardened to little peaks from lust.
He began to speed up, and Subaru began to moan, loudly, pushing back against him. When MiA let the hand that hadn’t penetrated him slide over his face, caressing his lips, Subaru licked at the fingers eagerly, sucking on one as it was plunged into his mouth. The finger began to move in and out, mimicking the motion of the cock inside him.
MiA pulled upward on Subaru’s shoulders, and Subaru pulled himself up into a kneeling position, letting the camera get a body shot of him as he thrust hard against MiA’s cock, the shot capturing MiA’s hands moving over his body, lingering on the nipples, moving down over his sweat-streaked belly to gently touch his cock.
“Oh, oh, YES!” Subaru cried as those fingers wrapped around him, stroking him, and he was completely lost in heat now, tipping his head back onto MiA’s shoulder, moaning loudly, kissing him hungrily when MiA turned his face toward him.
MiA ran his thumb back and forth over the tip, and Subaru trembled hard, saying, “Oh, oh, I’m so close, oh my God, so . . . “ He suddenly leaned back and let out a loud cry that was closer to a keening wail, his come pouring from him, all over MiA’s fingers, all over his stomach, all over everything.
He fell back into an all-fours position, and MiA grasped his hips, thrusting into him hard, plunging into that sweet ass, caught in an infinite loop of pleasure . . . and then he felt his own passion burst, and he pulled out of Subaru just in time for the camera to catch him shooting his essence all over the raised bottom, a perfect come shot.
MiA collapsed to the bed next to Subaru, and they kissed tenderly, wrapping their arms around each other. This had been more than a scene – it had been a consummation. Both of them might ultimately have other men at the center of their lives, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have a very special bond with each other.
The two of them lay there, just holding each other, Subaru’s eyes closed tightly. MiA leaned his head against the younger man’s, not wanting to break contact with him. For the two of them, the entire world had shrunk to the space that they occupied.
There was no applause as there usually was at the conclusion of a successful sex scene. Instead, the crew just sat there quietly, as if in awe. They knew what they had just witnessed wasn’t a mere fuck – there was a real connection between the two men involved.
Uruha approached them with a blanket, which he tenderly spread over the two, after placing a box of baby wipes beside them. “Just break down quietly and leave them,” he told his crew.
MiA slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Uruha. “How was it?” he said.
Uruha bent over and kissed him. “Wonderful,” he said. “Both of you. And you can stay here for as long as you like – we have this place until tomorrow.”
“Mmm . . .” Subaru snuggled closer to MiA, wrapping his arms around him tighter.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone,” Uruha said. “There’s a shower next door for when you need it.”
Neither of them were going anywhere. They were going to linger, close to each other, as long as they could and make this moment last. They’d waited for it long enough – and every second had been worth it.
The director tiptoed out of the room, and the two young men on the bed snuggled closer and fell asleep.
* * *
MiA walked across the set to where Uruha was setting up cameras. It was their last day of shooting in houses and apartments – tomorrow, they’d start doing exteriors, and finally, they’d finish up on the heaven and hell sets that had been borrowed from the horror film people.
“Hi,” he said. “Everything going well?”
“Everything is absolutely spectacular,” Uruha said. “You should see the rushes of your scene with Subaru. They’re positively stunning. I have to admit I had my doubts about the two of you saving your first time together for in front of the cameras – but it was incredible.”
“It’s because it was with Subaru,” MiA said. “He’s . . . something special.”
“He is,” Uruha said. “And you genuinely like each other. That’s important. Most directors don’t realize how a personal connection between actors can make all the difference in a scene.”
“I just wonder how our scene together is going to look,” MiA said, softly.
Uruha put an arm around him. “If it’s anything like our private time? I think it’ll come out well. More than well.”
MiA thought about the scene with Subaru . . . and about the conversation that had preceded it. He had totally leveled with him, come completely clean, been a hundred percent honest . . .
And his honesty had been rewarded. Subaru didn’t care about his outward appearance, or what he’d done to enhance it. Subaru thought he had a beautiful heart. So when they did their scene together, he felt more beautiful on-camera than he ever had.
If he wanted his scene with Uruha to be that successful, he thought, he needed the same level of honesty between them.
“Uruha,” he said, softly. “how much do you know about me?”
Uruha blinked, his face bearing a puzzled expression. “I know you’re talented, smart and ambitious – as well as very sweet.”
“Do you know that I’ve had surgery? On my face? Because, well . . .”
Uruha put a hand on MiA’s arm. “I know,” he said.
Now it was MiA’s turn to look puzzled. “You do?”
“There’s a certain shape to a nose when a person’s had that done. I picked up that your nose had that shape from the get-go.”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“Not at all,” Uruha said. “This is an industry that depends on male beauty. It happens. It doesn’t make me think any less of you.”
MiA suddenly felt a wave of relief rush through him – even bigger than the one that had rushed through him after his initial confession to Subaru. “I’m so glad,” he said.
“Did you think it would bother me?” Uruha said.
MiA looked down. “I haven’t told many people.”
“You don’t need to,” Uruha said. “It’s nobody’s business but those you choose to tell. Not everyone is a director and notices these things, you know? Besides, your face might be beautiful, but it’s what’s inside you that’s REALLY beautiful.”
MiA suddenly threw his arms around the other man. “You don’t know how much it means to her that from you.”
“Did you feel bad about it? Having the surgery, I mean?”
MiA felt like his very heart was sparkling. “Not anymore,” he said.
He’d put what he’d considered his secret shame behind him. He no longer felt like an artificially created porn star – he felt like a full person. A little enhanced on the outside, maybe – but perfectly fine on the inside.
In other words, truly beautiful.
END NOTE: When it comes to MiA, the fangirl speculation about his plastic surgery is a 900-pound gorilla, an elephant in the room. It’s unavoidable. The MiA of this fanfic universe, while based on the public persona of the actual J-rocker, has a different life and career. His decision to have plastic surgery here is based solely on his status as a performer in the adult video industry – as one might imagine, plastic surgery is rampant in porn. I don’t know what the real MiA’s circumstances were, I don’t pretend to know, and I make no judgments on him – it’s his life, his face and his decision.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-27 02:52 pm (UTC)I really liked this chapter. It was interesting to read about the full origins of the Suicide Boys, how they could get whatever body mods they wanted. Koichi has a tattoo on his foot too. I liked the way you approached MiA's own modifications. With visual kei there's a huge focus on beauty so I imagine real MiA had similar reasonings as fanfic MiA. Either way, he's beautiful and he's sweet and talented. I'm glad Subaru and Uruha were both warm and accepting.
I loved when they were doing the meeting for Datenshi Blue. As soon as they were asking who was playing Lucifer, I knew it'd be Aoi. Yuuki's repeated facepalming was priceless. Perfect reaction. Also the walking ego comment, lol.
MiA and Subaru's sex scene was amazing and droolworthy.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-29 03:46 am (UTC)Ohh, now that would be very interesting to read. I'm always a sucker for demon and angel fics.
Good luck with the next chapter!